The Daily Mirror has reported that Stoke City, with their over $5,000,000 earnings from their successful run through the FA Cup has a bid in to purchase MLS’ best attack tandem, Conor Casey and Omar Cummings. Confirmation from Washington Post’s Steve Goff reveals that MLS Commissioner Don Garber is forcing the hand of Rapids Managing Director Jeff Plush into accepting the offer.
Rapids biggest supporter, and often most accurate journalist covering the Defending MLS Champion Colorado Rapids, Ives Galaracep, has uncovered the reasoning behind the transfer. “MLS really needs the money.” says Ives. “They need to recoup the costs it has incurred to guarantee the New York Red Bulls and Los Angles Galaxy meet in the 2011 MLS Cup final at Home Depot in Carson, California.” So far, the tab has exceeded $2 million dollars and it appears more money is needed.
Rapids fans are understandably infuriated that MLS has chosen the Rapids tandem to generate the money needed for the wet dream final where Beckham and Donevan meet Henry and Marquez. When confronted with this new insight into the league, Don Garber of course denied everything. “There is absolutely no truth that MLS has anything to do with this transfer.” claims Garber. “The Colorado Rapids, with the emergence of future US National Team strikers Andre Akpan and Quincy Amarikwa, feel they are in position to hand the Rapids strike force over to the next generation of strikers and will perhaps use the money to buy a designated player. Of course, I cannot give any details on that designated player to keep negotiations moving in a positive fashion.”
Ives, being a staunch Rapids supporter however revealed more to the story. “It all started after the Rapids won the Cup. The first step they took was to keep Western Conference Teams from kicking the crap out of the weak Eastern Conference by revamping the playoff system. Next, they had to do something about the emergence of the Colorado Rapids. But they had to do it without any fan knowledge of what they were up to.”
- Project Champ Killer
- $60,000 MLS scheduler.
- $100,000 to each Baldomero Toledo,Peter Manikowski, and Craig Lowry
- $1,250,000 Denver State Medical Center Radiology
- $100,000 to each of the five MLS Disciplinary Committee Members, none who’s identities are publicly known.
- $75,000 Terry Vaughn
Says Ives, “MLS is doing everything in their power to keep the Rapids from rising to the upper echelon of MLS. First, they had their sights on demoralizing the Rapids with a guaranteed loss in the first leg of the Rocky Mountain Cup by spending nearly $600,000 to keep Rapids supporters away and fixing the result. Then, to keep the Rapids coaches from being able to use their preferred starting eleven, they are adding a wing to Denver State Medical Center in return for inaccurate results on x-rays, CTs, and lab results.”
Ives continues, “Nobody had suspected a thing, but they are starting to get sloppy. First, fans from around MLS are questioning how Brian Mullan can get such a severe suspension while Marcos Mondaini gets a comparable slap on the wrist for practically the same action. It’s unfortunate for Mondaini, because the MLS Discipline Committee really only wanted to give an additional one game suspension, but they knew it’d be too obvious. Half a million dollars took care of that situation however.”
Ives however began to suspect things after this past weekend’s match. “I was watching the game and thought to myself, how in the world can the Rapids possibly get screwed over again? There’s not a single level six referee in America that would call a PK against Kimura on that play like Vaughn called. Something smelled bad and I decided it was time to figure out why this team I’m so passionate about watching each and every minute of play would be getting screwed over.”
So how did this all lead to the transfer of Cummings and Casey? “After all the pieces put into place by Don Garber, the Rapids still pulled down five points in a three game road swing. They figured they’re going to need more money to be sure the Rapids do not make the playoffs. What better way to get that money and knee cap the Rapids then to force the sale of the Rapids two star players.”
The final chapter of this MLS story obviously has not been written yet since the Rapids continue to overcome such daunting obstacles. Ives was unable to gain definitive confirmation by the time this news article was printed, but he believes that if the transfer does not keep the Rapids down, the next plan of action is to fire both Jeff Plush and Jamie Smith, and install Mo Johnston and Steve Sampson.