What is Outside The Box? In Class VI terms, OTB is a place for those of us who like to have a little fun while addressing real soccer topics of real soccer interest. In Pid Army terms, OTB is for those of us who tend to play … well … outside the box, not only on the pitch but also in our minds.
OTB is about you, not me, but here’s a little perspective: I can’t play soccer to save my narrow ass but the twisted mind thing comes naturally. I sit in 108 ‘cause I’m not completely crazy but I still want to have some serious fun so I try to act like I’m part of Bishop’s Rowdy Fan Posse (so aptly named by Donna Feldman – Burgundy Dazed) while also striving to be a mature adult. I sing the songs like a 22 year old while gumming my food. I suppose you could say I bridge the gap, that I represent a new (and already dying) breed, or that I just never grew up; A Peter Pan Fan, if you will. Perhaps it makes me an aging Pid wannabee or, best put, I suppose I’m a trans-hooligan. Regardless, if this OTB thing works, I may have finally found my tiny little place in this tiny little corner of the great big soccer world.
I’m sure footy-in-mouth disease will be a recurring problem with OTB but I really don’t care (see, I shoulda been a Pid). But (pay attention – here’s the really important part as it relates to OTB) … you make it up as we go along. Yes, you. Who else would know what you want? Certainly not me. So here’s the deal: you submit comments, topics, kudos, complaints, questions – anything directly or indirectly related to soccer – and we’ll have fun with it from time to time. I can’t make this crap up so, if I don’t get input from you, you don’t get OTB from me. Consider that a threat or a promise, depending on your perspective. The main thing is that you get something out of it. I’ll know when you’re not enjoying it when I don’t get any more of your comments and ideas.
This first edition has something to do with kids. Sort of.
Before we go there, did you notice … Pid Army was highlighted more than once during the broadcast of the DC game! Let’s hope there’s more of that to come.
While we’re talking fan-stuff, you gotta look deep inside your soul and ask yourself:
What does any of this have to do with kids? Well, we may be (and hopefully are) experiencing the phase-out of marketing of soccer to eight year olds and the corresponding phase-in of marketing to those of us who actually watch the game. Perhaps it’s just part of the natural evolution of a league that is still in its adolescence but I’m guessing somebody in management actually keeps track of such things. Maybe they’ve seen an increase in the median age and higher attendance at venues putting greater emphasis on fan participation. Perhaps they’ve just noticed an increase in beer sales.
So, go to that dark place once again and ask yourself:
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have anything against kids. Teach them not to sneeze on me and it’s all good. Hec, we have some precious little Petri dishes among us now (and I’m not just talkin’ about you bundles of joy in the first five rows of 108). Even better if they don’t load their pants in my vicinity (and I’m not just talkin’ about you Metamucil dependent droolers scattered around the place).
I even raised two kids of my own, and I didn’t have to send either of them to Juvi ! No shit.
And we can’t forget 2 Kids On The Sideline. What a hoot. Who else could do something that cool? We can thank the soccer gods if these guys attract more who really care about the game. Side note: I asked to be on the show but was rejected (something about lack of maturity and a propensity to make an ass of myself).
My point? A higher level of soccer sophistication results in greater enthusiasm (Yay! more fun for us) and higher revenues for the Rapids (Yay! more money for them!). But, sadly, until the league truly starts to focus on adults in every market, and until the current generation of soccer kids gets a bit older, some folks who’d like to be part of that energy, won’t be.
Here’s another kid-related question to consider (I’m serious this time):
That’s enough about kids for now.
Here’s something to look for during the game Friday night: Do FC Dallas players sweat, or do they glow?
Leaving you with a final question:
Be sure to send comments, ideas and all that other crap to OTB@nofanalone.com
Remember … It’s fun to play Outside The Box
Disclaimers: (1) OTB is intended for mature audiences. While this leaves only a handful from CVI and even fewer Pids, you folks are welcome to check in. If you’re not a member of either group … congratulations; You obviously have good judgment and better things to do. (2) OTB is frequently sarcastic, rarely accurate, always messed up and may offend on occasion, but it’s all in good fun so I’m pretty sure we can deal with it. (3) The remarks, rants, raves, opinions and other content of OTB are rarely shared (and are never approved of) by MLS, the Rapids’ front office or the founders of Class VI and Pid Army (in whose names we pray)
